Chaotic Not Random

Sorry if I sound a little hoarse today -- my throat is still a little sore from the COMPREHENSIVE ASS-KICKING I laid down in karaoke last night at a Halloween party at the home of Mother of Sister-In-Law of Girlfriend of G-Dog, Friend of Kilgore.

I was unstoppable. Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer." Aerosmith's "Angel." Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me." Van Halen's "Jump." The Beastie Boys' "Fight for your Right." The Backstreet Boys' "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely." All accompanied by air guitar/air keyboard and power-emoting dance moves, as necessary. Plus I held the mic all cool, like a rapper.

Alcohol? I may have had a few beers, now that you mention it.

My costume was a white T-shirt with black iron-on letters spelling "GENERIC MAN" along with a bar code pasted to my forehead (see a photo here). Mother of Girlfriend of G-Dog didn't get it. "What's the pun?" she asked, wrinkling her forehead.

"Um, I don't get it either," you are saying. "It's a pretty stupid costume, if you ask me."

I didn't ask you, and lots of my fellow partygoers thought it was a hoot and a holler, especially a certain female fellow partygoer who... well, let's just say that I forestalled the reappearance of the Involuntary Celibacy Watch until at least next February 8 at 2:27 a.m.

CHAOTIC NOT RANDOM UPDATE! For the hundreds of you who emailed me, demanding a photo of the Cherry Creek guy holding the "KERRY THROWS LIKE A GIRL" sign, you're in luck. He was out again Saturday, making one last push before Election Day for non-effeminate-throwing leadership, and I got a great photo.