I was reading Skeptic magazine recently when a strange ad caught my attention. It read:
Triple Nine Society
Founded 1978
Extraordinary camaraderie
in an international society
of peers. 99.9th percentile:
old SAT (before 4/95) 1450,
new SAT 1520,
ACT 34, MAT 85
See complete list at:
I felt the twin thrills of acceptance and superiority that come from rejecting an offer to join an exclusive club -- like turning down a date with a supermodel. (Actually, it's probably not at all like turning down a date with a supermodel. Has anyone out there ever spurned both a high-IQ society and a supermodel? If so, please compare and contrast your experiences in the comments.)
An examination of the Triple Nine Society website revealed that I won't be missing much by refusing admission. To judge by the thousands of words the Society dedicates to its
Constitution and
Voting Method, the Triple Nine Society was founded by the sort of prigs you knew in high school who did Model UN and used
Robert's Rules of Order as a stroke book. The Preamble to their Constitution assures us that the Society "will strive to avoid the insularity of mere exclusiveness," a slushy phrase that I interpret to mean "we will occasionally take field trips to Six Flags and Wal-Mart to interact with people at the 99.8th percentile and below."
I went to the "
Chat" area of the website and clicked a link to subscribe to the Society's Q&A Discussion Board. Yahoo! Groups regretfully informed me that "There is no group called tnsqa." Maybe the 99.9ers should call the Quadruple Nine Society or the Akron Quilting Club and see if they can help them set up a Yahoo! Group. I went to the "
Events" section and found no events scheduled. If any of you have weddings or bar mitzvahs approaching, I bet the Triple Nine Society would be happy to provide entertainment in the form of "extraordinary camaraderie" and "intellectual exploration."
I don't understand the purpose of these high-IQ clubs beyond ego massage for the pointy-headed. Genius is in what you
do, not in what you
are. A club for people with high IQ's is like a club for men with big penises. Who cares? Are you getting laid, or are you and a bunch of other guys just admiring each other's schlongs? All of these clubs have journals, which makes no sense to me. If you write a groundbreaking paper in medical research or a cutting-edge piece of fiction, shouldn't you be able to publish your work in the
New England Journal of Medicine or
The New Yorker instead of
Vidya?
If you're so smart, then go find a cure for cancer, or write the Great American Novel, or prove the Riemann hypothesis. I bet you'll meet scores of other smart, driven people in the process, likely more interesting than you would have met through the Triple Nine Society:
99.9er: Hello. I'm very smart.
Kilgore Trout: Yes, me too. We all are.
99.9er: I got all A's in high school. I was listed in Who's Who Among American High School Students.
KT: That's nice.
99.9er: I almost always win at chess when I play against normal people. Also Scrabble and checkers and backgammon. And Uno.
KT: I'm very impressed.
99.9er: I scored 1500 on the old SAT (before 4/95). What did you score?
KT: Oh, higher than that.
99.9er: Really? Like 1510?
KT: Higher.
99.9er: 1520? 1530?
KT: Higher. Much higher.
99.9er: Um... 1560? 1580?
KT: Keep going.
99.9er: 1600? Did you get 1600?
KT: No, no, even higher than that.
99.9er: Well, the SAT only goes to 1600.
KT: I have to use the restroom now.
+posted by Lawrence @ 7/28/2004 11:42:00 PM
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