FOLLIES IN MARKETING, VOL. 5

• I've noticed some taverns use their neon signs to advertise that they serve mixed drinks. Why? Wouldn't one assume mixed drinks to be available in a bar? Or maybe not:
  
  KILGORE TROUT: Vodka tonic, please.
  
  SURLY BARTENDER: Sorry, we don't do that here.
  
  KT: Pardon?
  
  SB: I can give you vodka or tonic water, but I can't mix 'em together.
  
  KT: But this is a bar.
  
  SB: Did the sign outside specify "mixed drinks"? No, I don't think so. If that's how you get off, go to Don's Club Tavern or the Satire Lounge. We don't serve your kind here.
  
  KT: Okay, get me a shot of vodka and a glass of tonic water.
  
  SB: Nice try, wise guy. You'll just mix 'em together while my back is turned. Don't you think we've had smart alecks like you in here before? I think you'd better leave.
  
  
• Hey, Sears in Cherry Creek! You have two options: either fix the "E" in your "SEARS" sign or start handing out filtration masks at the door.
  
  
• I received a solicitation with my last credit card bill to sign up for some credit report tracking service. As an enticement, the service offered free "Slim Line" digital cameras to all new subscribers. How can they afford to offer a free digital camera for buying a $10 per month subscription? Well, it's not too hard when the camera in question offers a resolution of 350 kilopixels.
  
  It reminded me of the old Shredded Wheat commericials: "It takes nine of these "Slim Line" digital cameras to equal the resolution of Kilgore Trout's one Kodak EasyShare camera, which is not exactly making Annie Leibovitz grit her teeth with envy."
  
  
• This isn't a Folly in Marketing, exactly, but I thought everyone should know that Adolf Hitler has an IMDb profile. Sometimes credited as "Der Führer," Mr. Hitler exhibited extraordinary range, playing "Himself" in 25 films including 1934's classic screwball comedy Triumph of the Will. Who knows what films he might have made had he not committed suicide in an underground Berlin bunker?

+posted by Lawrence @ 7/19/2004 11:40:00 PM