OLSEN TWINS CELEBRATE 18TH BIRTHDAY
BY HAVING SEX WITH 34-YEAR-OLD SALESMAN

LOS ANGELES -- Celebrity twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen spent the early hours of their eighteenth birthday in a ménage à trois with divorced medical-supplies salesman Craig Ralston, 34, sources reported Sunday.

"Ashley and I met Craig on our way to a club Saturday night," said Mary-Kate. "He recognized us and stopped us on the street to tell us he was a longtime fan, ever since we were on Full House."

"It must have been just past midnight, because Craig glanced at his watch and said, 'I guess you guys are eighteen now,'" added Ashley. "So I said, 'Yeah, let's go have sex.'"

"We couldn't decide which one of us would get to sleep with Craig, so finally we just agreed to fuck him at the same time," said Mary-Kate. "That worked out pretty well."

Both Mary-Kate and Ashley admitted that having kinky sex with one of their fans fulfilled a longtime fantasy.

"We've always dreamed about having sex with our older fans, but we didn't want to get anyone in trouble," said Mary-Kate. "Besides, most people think of us as artists -- singers and actors -- and not sexual beings."

"We're kind of shy," said a blushing Ashley. "We've been sheltered from normal life our entire lives, so we're like flowers in the attic, or something. It means a lot to know that somebody out there would want to share himself with us that way."

Neither of the twins would confirm the performing of any specific sex acts, but Mary-Kate acknowledged with a sly grin that "we had to flip a coin to see who would get to swallow."

Ralston could not be reached for comment, as immediately after ejaculation he lapsed into a catatonic state and had to be transported to USC Hospital's mental health ward, where he is now listed in stable condition.

+posted by Lawrence @ 6/13/2004 01:00:00 PM