KILGORE TROUT, PHOTOJOURNALIST

I had a good weekend. I took some pictures of the things I did, so if you had a bad weekend, maybe you can look at my photos and pretend you had a good weekend like me.

• My friend The Negotiator called me at work Friday afternoon, all wound up. "Some guys at the office weren't giving me any help getting a quote to a customer," said The Negotiator, who works as a salesman for a concrete company. "So I went to Target and Hobby Lobby and got a pack of T-shirts and some iron-on letters, and I made some T-shirts that say things like WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR THE CUSTOMER TODAY? and CARE, for 'Customers Are the Reason we Exist.' I wear the T-shirts in the office, and when someone is holding up something for a customer, I just point to the T-shirt."
  
  Right now you are thinking this sounds awfully dorky. But did you just get a $2,500 bonus for being the top concrete salesman in your office? Yeah, that's what I thought.
  
  "That's awesome!" I said. "I want to make a T-shirt!"
  
  "You should!" said The Negotiator. "It only cost me twenty dollars to make four T-shirts."
  
  "I'm not going to get any work done the rest of the day," I said. "I'm going to be too busy thinking about what to put on my T-shirt."
  
  So I stopped at Hobby Lobby on the way home, picked up a white T-shirt and some iron-on letters, and made a T-shirt, except mine doesn't say CARE or anything like that. Click here to see a picture of the T-shirt I made. Go here to read about the time The Negotiator (a.k.a. DK) got me into a hot tub with models.
  
  
• Saturday morning I noticed some squirrels frolicking outside, so I took this picture and this other picture. I like squirrels. They rock because they can climb anything and run along telephone wires and jump from branch to branch in trees. If I could be any kind of animal, I would either be a squirrel or a gnat on the wall of Catherine Keener's bedroom.
  
  I even like the word "squirrel." I think it looks cool, like it's in motion. I dream of playing Scrabble and drawing the rack ILQRRSU, and my opponent drops a naked E in the triple-triple lane, and I make SQUIRREL for 212 points.
  
  
• On Sunday I went to Coors Field to watch the Rockies play the Orioles. When I go to Rockies games, I usually buy $4 Rockpile seats behind center field, but today I got to sit in a luxury suite, courtesy of my company's insurance broker. Luxury suites kick ass: free brats, free chicken wings, free beer, padded seats, and convenient restroom access.
  
  Too bad Rox "closer" Shawn Chacon wasted a great effort by starter Joe Kennedy, who scattered four hits and walked one over seven shutout innings and handed a 2-0 lead to the bullpen. Chacon walked the bases full in the ninth inning and gave up a grand slam to Brian Roberts to record his sixth blown save (against only 13 successful saves), bump his ERA to 8.38, and make Rockies fans ache for the good ol' days of Jose Jimenez.
  
  Here is an action photo of Todd Helton striking out.
  
  In other baseball news, this team has the coolest name and animated logo ever. (Link via Bohnsack.)

+posted by Lawrence @ 6/20/2004 11:11:00 PM