People like to bring notepads and pens to meetings. They get to the meeting a few minutes early, and then they open their notepads to a blank page. Sometimes they write the date at the top of the page. When the meeting starts, they poise their pens above the page, ready to record vital information for future reference. But they almost never write anything down. As the meeting wears on, they start twiddling their pens, playing with them, tapping them on the page. Eventually they put their pens down completely. When the meeting ends, they close their notepads and take them back to their offices. I think they must feel foolish when later they open their notepads to that blank page with only "MEETING 1/22/04" written at the top.

People don't change. Well, sometimes they do, but you're a fool to bet on it. Want to know how someone will behave tomorrow? Examine how he's behaved in the past. If someone drinks too much, chances are he'll be drinking too much in six months, no matter how sincere his promises to sober up. If someone is overweight, forget about that new diet plan she started -- she'll likely still be fat a year from now. The same goes for people who are chronically late, can't handle money, can't hold a job, or can't keep their genitals out of restricted areas. (This principle applies to positive traits as well, but we don't discuss such things at Chaotic Not Random.) Real change takes real effort, and most people don't have the necessary whatever-it-is to overcome the inertia and make the changes stick.

People sometimes fall in love and stay that way for the rest of their lives. I went to a Unitarian church meeting a little while ago, and we took turns talking about ourselves and our spiritual journeys. One elderly man spoke, and as he talked, I noticed his wife looking at him with total devotion, like a teenage girl with a crush on a cute boy. I don't mean slavish, self-immolating devotion -- I mean that genuine affection radiated between that man and that woman, and even though I knew them not at all, I suddenly could not imagine either one of them being with anyone else. I thought it was sweet and nice. I hadn't felt that lonely in a long time.

+posted by Lawrence @ 5/25/2004 11:52:00 PM