COSMOPOLITAN PUBLISHES GROUNDBREAKING STUDY:
MEN LIKE FELLATIO, VAGINAL INTERCOURSE

NEW YORK CITY -- Cosmopolitan, a New York-based human sexuality think-tank, will publish a startling study in its monthly research journal revealing that men overwhelmingly prefer fellatio (oral stimulation of the penis) and vaginal intercourse (fucking) to other forms of sexual activity.

According to Kate White, the journal's editor-in-chief, Cosmopolitan researchers carefully assembled a group of 200 heterosexual men intended to represent America by race, age, income, and eleven other control factors. They then provided the participants with a list of sex acts and asked them to mark the ones in which they felt a "strong" or "very strong" interest.

Among the sex acts listed:

• getting fingertips massaged with scented oils
  
• having fourth chakra stimulated with a mockingbird feather
  
• bathing together while listening to Kenny G
  
• feeding each other pomegranate seeds steeped in a fine Gewürztraminer
  
• shopping for the perfect handbag to go with new pumps

"The researchers added 'fellatio' and 'vaginal intercourse' to give a wide range of choices for participants to pick from," said White. "They expected a response rate of less than 1% for those choices. Boy, were we surprised."

Survey results showed that while a maximum of 2% of men expressed interest in any one of fingertip massage, chakra stimulation, mutual bathing, seed feeding, or handbag shopping; 100% of men expressed interest in fellatio and vaginal intercourse.

"At first, it appeared the response rate was less than 100%," said White. "But when the researchers checked the write-in responses, they found that some of the men didn't understand the terms 'fellatio' or 'vaginal intercourse' and wrote in responses like 'licking and sticking' or 'I like it when a chick blows me and then lets me fuck her.'"

White refused to confirm or deny rumors that the journal had omitted even more controversial material, including data suggesting that most men enjoy watching filmed clips of paid actors engaging in fellatio and vaginal intercourse, or that many men would engage in fellatio and vaginal intercourse with their wife's or girlfriend's hot sister if they thought they could get away with it.

Cosmopolitan will make the journal available in grocery store checkout lines starting Tuesday. The study will be published in an article titled "2 RED-HOT SEX TRICKS YOU NEED TO MASTER -- TONIGHT!"

+posted by Lawrence @ 5/30/2004 11:48:00 PM