MISCELLANY
- If you clicked on Chaotic Not Random from IP address 159.212.71.# at 11:30:26 a.m. MDT yesterday, then I thank you for giving CNR its 10,000th hit.
- I finished 16th out of 91 finishers in the 50-mile event at the Umstead Endurance Run last Saturday, including 12th out of 68 men, and 5th out of 11 men aged 30 to 39. Not bad for my first ultramarathon!
I sent an email to friends and family announcing that I had finished the race, and jokingly offered to send a photo taken afterwards of my swollen, blistered feet to anyone who requested it. To my surprise, four of my friends responded that yes, they wanted a photo of my disgusting, pus-encrusted feet. One of these guys made this picture the wallpaper on his computer monitor. I always suspected my friends were a bunch of sick fucks, but now I know for certain. (I will not thank you for pointing out that I am also a sick fuck for taking the picture in the first place.)
Are you a sick fuck? See the photo here.
- A week or so ago, I posted an entry about a Double Play Baseball handheld electronic game sent to me by the beautiful and alluring Trillian (see 3/30). I didn't mention (because I didn't want to ruin the surprise) that a couple of weeks before that, I had purchased for Trillian a Space Invaders handheld electronic game.
"Wow," you are saying. "That's pretty amazing that the two of you just happened to independently buy each other cheesy handheld electronic games. When's the wedding?"
It gets better. Both of these cheesy handheld electronic games were manufactured by Excalibur Electronics! Isn't that wild?
"Yeah, that's nuts," you are saying. "That's... [right now you are stifling a yawn]... really something, or something."
Anyway, I decided to celebrate baseball's Opening Day by playing a Colorado Rockies versus Chicago Cubs game on my Double Play Baseball handheld electronic game. Of course, Double Play Baseball doesn't have actual team lineups or real player statistics or anything -- I just had to pretend the Rockies and the Cubs were playing and keep my own stats. (It's amazing what I'll do to amuse myself when I've already masturbated and I'm out of barbeque-flavored Corn Nuts.) Not surprisingly, the Cubs trounced the Rockies 16-7, pounding 20 hits and 9 home runs. Here's the box score:
ROCKIES 320 000 101 -- 7 7 0
CUBS 500 600 23x -- 16 20 0
-----------------------------------------
ROCKIES AB R H RBI BB SO
-----------------------------------------
Miles 2B 4 3 2 2 0 0
Clayton SS 5 1 2 0 0 0
Helton 1B 5 1 2 2 0 0
Wilson CF 5 0 4 1 0 0
Burnitz RF 5 1 3 2 0 0
Castilla 3B 5 0 1 0 0 0
Greene C 4 0 0 0 0 0
Hocking LF 4 0 0 0 0 0
Estes P 4 1 1 0 0 0
TOTALS 41 7 7 7 0 0
-----------------------------------------
BATTING
2B: Miles.
HR: Miles, Helton, Burnitz.
TB: Miles 6, Clayton 2, Helton 5, Wilson 3, Burnitz 6, Castilla, Estes.
HBP: Miles.
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
CUBS AB R H RBI BB SO
-----------------------------------------
Walker 2B 4 4 4 1 0 0
Patterson CF 6 4 4 7 0 0
Sosa RF 6 2 3 2 0 1
Alou LF 5 0 0 0 0 0
Ramirez 3B 4 2 2 2 0 1
Lee 1B 5 0 1 0 0 2
Gonzalez SS 5 1 2 2 0 1
Barrett C 5 1 1 1 0 0
Maddux P 5 2 3 1 0 1
TOTALS 45 16 20 16 0 6
-----------------------------------------
BATTING
2B: Walker, Sosa 2.
HR: Walker, Patterson 3, Sosa, Ramirez, Gonzalez, Barrett, Maddux.
TB: Walker 8, Patterson 13, Sosa 8, Ramirez 5, Lee, Gonzalez 5, Barrett 4, Maddux 5.
HBP: Walker 2, Ramirez, Gonzalez.
-----------------------------------------
PITCHING
IP H R ER BB SO HR NP
------------------------------------------------------
Maddux, W 9.0 7 7 7 0 0 3 65
Estes, L 8.0 20 16 16 0 6 9 91
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Attendance: 1
- In other sports news, the Colorado Mammoth professional lacrosse team concluded their regular season by embarrassing the Anaheim Storm 17-10 and boosting their NLL-best record to 13-3. When Gary Gait scored his sixth goal of the game, Mammoth PA announcer Willie B dubbed the feat a "sock trick" (like a hat trick in hockey -- get it?) and threw his socks on the field. Hundreds of fans followed his example, and the game had to be delayed for several minutes while Pepsi Center workers cleared the debris. I'm not kidding. How sublime is that?
+posted by Lawrence @ 4/08/2004 11:50:00 PM
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