MEET THE CHAOTIC NOT RANDOM BLOGROLL, PART I

Deviant Synapse, written by Eric Piotrowski (Madison, Wisconsin). Eric P is an electronic musician, Flash animator, science fiction writer, Go player, and high school English teacher who could use some help grading essays. He has some vague misgivings about the Bush administration, corporate America, and U.S. policy in East Timor, but likes to keep that sort of thing to himself. "Don't be so timid," I keep telling him. "You should speak up about that stuff if you really care about it." But he just blushes and shuffles his feet. If you can identify more than two of his devilish TPCQ's (Tangential Pop Culture Quotes), you're a better man than I. Don't miss clicking on his patented TimeWasters™.

Enjoy Every Sandwich, written by Skippy (Toronto). Skippy hasn't made love to a woman since August 3, 2002, at 4:00 in the afternoon. He can't hold a job. He doesn't feel pretty. He jerks off five times a day. He can't sleep without medication. He failed, as a child, to get molested by a Roman Catholic priest. He can't spell. He posts those damn church signs and Quizilla quizzes. He's Canadian. Skippy can't do anything right except write lengthy, original posts filled with insight and humor about world politics and the hot, hot ladies of CNN. And the only blog name better than this one was Skippy's last one: "I Hate Myself and You Love Me For It."

Go Fish, written by Mac (near Philadelphia). Mac writes a spirited blog that mixes autobiographical posts about her dog, her job, and her husband with scathing attacks on conservative Republicans in general and President Bush in particular. Be sure to check back often -- that girl cranks it out.

Happy Furry Puppy Story Time, written by Norbizness (Austin, Texas). A hilarious blog that wages bizarro war against Lorenzo Lamas, the Bush administration, and every single person employed by ESPN. I'm listed on his blogroll along with -- no kidding, I just counted -- 170 other blogs. (Attention Norbizness: There's no comma in Chaotic Not Random.) Be sure to enter the caption contests to win valuable prizes!

Life(?) of Trillian, written by Trillian (Chicago). You want original content? Trillian's post today ran 3,762 words -- just a routine epic post from this gifted writer. Read this blog and marvel as a nice British-American girl confronts romantic disasters, crass coworkers, Chicago elections, her idiot boss, and a sadistic physical therapist. Forceful, witty, touching, and real. This is the best blog I know of.

Mike's Baseball Rants, written by Mike (Philadelphia). Maybe you think you're a baseball fan. Maybe you think you're hot shit because you know that Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs, or that Ty Cobb really had 4,190 hits instead of 4,191. Fella, you don't know jack. Mike, a proud member of the Society for American Baseball Research, can calculate stats you've never even heard of. If you want to read this blog, it helps to enjoy looking at tables -- looooooong tables -- with titles like "Effect of Wind Velocity and Popcorn Quality on Slugging Percentage Adjusted for Park Factor, National League 1876-2003." Or you can skip the tables and read informed articles about baseball issues like competitive balance or the Pete Rose controversy. If you're of a sabermetric bent, be sure to catch Mike's critiques of Joe Morgan's online chat sessions.

+posted by Lawrence @ 4/01/2004 09:35:00 PM