BAD-ASS SQUAD LEADER WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'RE FINISHED

OMEGA QUADRANT -- "Are you finished?" snarled tough-guy squad leader Sgt. Jack Kane, apparently having had enough of your whining that the swarm of mutant nanobots unleashed by the Vogons would need only minutes to eat through the hull of your starship, killing all of you. "Because we've got a lot to do if we're going to show these intergalactic fucksticks who's boss."

According to witnesses, Kane then dug a chunk of shrapnel out of his leg and shoved it into the card reader, causing sparks to fly out of the circuit board as the door to the airlock opened. "With a lungful of air, a normal man can survive for two minutes in the vacuum of space," said Kane, as he prepared to exit the ship without a protective suit and fight the nanobots with the experimental hyperquark pulse cannon. "I'll be back in three minutes."

+posted by Lawrence @ 1/23/2004 06:46:00 PM