Yesterday I criticized and ridiculed the fifteen worst quarters produced during the first half of the U.S. Mint's 50 State Quarters Program. In doing so, I introduced Kilgore's Four Laws of State Quarter Design:

1. Pick one image and stick with it.
2. Do not show a bunch of crap from your state that no one cares about.
3. Do not include your state's outline.
4. Avoid retarded slogans.

In today's post, I'll continue the quarter reviews, with a twist: all of today's quarters are good, featuring aesthetically pleasing, economical, coherent designs. Notice in particular how all of them follow the First Law precisely.

10. Mississippi. This very nice quarter depicts two magnolias, the state flower of Mississippi. This is an excusable Second Law violation. Magnolias are pretty, you see, and because the flowers take up nearly the entire coin, the designer was able to include details not possible in, say, the South Carolina quarter, on which the state flower was shrunk to the size of a pencil eraser. My only complaint about this quarter is that the magnolia blossoms are hard to distinguish from the magnolia leaves, making the quarter look like a mass of foliage.

9. Kentucky. Those of you who have been paying attention might complain that this design violates the First Law, because it includes several elements: a horse, a fence, a hill and a mansion. But the designer of this quarter actually obeyed the First Law by picking a single scene and including only elements consistent with that scene. (Contrast this with Arkansas' cluttered, incoherent quarter.) Anyway, this is a peaceful, pastoral scene, but it ranks ninth because the plantation setting is a little creepy to this Yankee -- I halfway expect to see a Nigra stablehand grooming the horse and polishing the saddle for the massa's afternoon ride.

8. Virginia. This cool quarter features the three ships that landed at Jamestown in 1607. I like the seagoing design, but it looks weird that the water gets cut off so sharply above the word "Quadricentennial". (Compare Rhode Island for a better nautical composition). I also think there's too much empty space above the ships; the designer could have expanded them upward and included more detail.

7. North Carolina. Remember how Ohio was all, like, bragging and shit about being the "Birthplace of Aviation Pioneers" because Orville Wright was born there? Well, what Ohio doesn't want you to know is that Orville actually made the first flight in North Carolina, an event comemmorated on this quarter as well as on North Carolina's license plates. I like this design because of the way the wings of the 1903 Flyer spread dramatically across the widest part of the coin from edge to edge. According to the accompanying text, "some alternate design concepts suggested were the 1903 Flyer superimposed over an outline of the state" and "the Hatteras Lighthouse superimposed over an outline of the state" (emphasis mine). In other words, North Carolinians were sorely tempted to disregard Kilgore's Third Law of State Quarter Design! But Governor James B. Hunt bravely stood in the gap for all that is decent and Christian, choosing the "First Flight" design sans state outline. Bravo, Governor James B. Hunt!

6. Alabama. Who'd a' thunk Alabama would produce a sensitive, inspiring quarter honoring the struggles of disabled people? This design features a seated Helen Keller reading a Braille book, (and, in a regrettable but minor violation of the First Law, a pine branch and magnolias on either side like garnishes on a dinner plate). The coin also includes Helen Keller's name in both English and Braille, although, in an unintentionally hilarious twist, the Braille is way too small for an actual blind person to read, rendering it meaningless except as decoration for sighted people. Still a very nice effort, Alabama.

5. Rhode Island. Not much to say here, except to admire this really nifty sailing scene on Narragansett Bay. The accompanying text at the Mint website explains that sailing is "Rhode Island's most popular sport". Really? So if I went to a sports bar in Providence, they would be watching yacht races instead of the Patriots or Red Sox? According to the Census Bureau, Rhode Island's median household income in 2001 was $45,723. This is not much more than I make, and I'm having trouble keeping myself in running shoes, let alone maintaining a sailing hobby.

4. Connecticut. This beautiful quarter features the Charter Oak, which is technically an infraction of the Second Law. But Connecticut's designer made it work by including nothing but the Charter Oak, expanding the image to fill the available space. This allowed for a startling level of detail that would have done wonders for, say, Massachusetts' and New York's quarters.

3. Vermont. This quarter shows a charming winter scene of a man collecting sap from barren maple trees against a mountain backdrop. Simple, economical, moving, and effective. No complaints.

2. New Jersey. New Jersey is the only state so far to adapt an existing painting for its quarter: Washington Crossing the Delaware by Emmanuel Leutze. This surprises me; why bother dreaming up your own design when a famous, well-executed image already exists? The designer should have eliminated the dopey slogan "Crossroads of the Revolution" -- Fourth Law violation! -- and expanded the image, but this is still a great quarter.

1. Maine. This sublime quarter features a lovely scene of a clifftop lighthouse overlooking a schooner at sea. Notice how the designer created an effective compostion through creative use of empty space: the design might seem unbalanced -- its elements are off-center and much of the coin is blank -- but, like Whistler's mother stares across empty space in this famous painting, the lighthouse overlooks over the water and balances the compositon with grace and purpose. The design could have been even better if the citizens of Maine had had the courage to leave the blank space blank, instead of filling it with unnecessary light rays. We all know what a lighthouse does, fellas.

If your state hasn't issued its quarter yet, and you're curious about prospective designs, call in sick and head to Quarter Designs. I was relieved to see that Iowa, the state where I grew up, had resisted the temptation to go with some sort of pussy-ass compromise city/country design, (see Illinois for lame example), opting instead to adapt Grant Wood's painting Arbor Day. I would have preferred American Gothic, but three cheers for Iowa anyway, except for the Fourth Law-busting slogan "Foundation in Education".

Note to my sister in Florida and Eric P in Wisconsin: here's looking forward to dissing on your states' shitty quarters in 2004!

+posted by Lawrence @ 10/17/2003 05:33:00 PM