There's a guy who walks around downtown Denver sometimes, hauling a wooden cross hooked over one shoulder. I guess he's imitating Christ carrying his cross to Calvary, in an effort to remind us that Jesus died for our sins, for which we have been justly convicted, and we should repent, REPENT, SINNER, FOR WHOSOEVER IS NOT FOUND WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF LIFE SHALL BE CAST INTO THE EVERLASTING LAKE OF FIRE, WHERE THERE WILL BE WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH, AND THE DAMNED ARE TORMENTED DAY AND NIGHT FOR EVER AND EVER. Or maybe it's some kind of advertisement for Big Dave's Discount Cross Emporium

The problem is that the guy has a wheel attached to the cross, at the point where the end would normally drag on the ground. Doesn't this destroy the entire effect? I can see Jesus hanging with his angelic posse, looking down and frowning. "Wheel? I didn't get any kind of damn wheel on my cross. I had to drag that thing, with people spitting and throwing rocks at me, and it was a lot heavier than that so-called 'cross', let me tell you. That's not a cross -- that's a couple of two-by-fours from Home Depot nailed together. [Starts shouting] Hey, you poseur! You call that a cross? You couldn't crucify a Chihuahua on that thing! Man, I remember my cross... [The angels roll their eyes and look at their watches; they have heard this story many times before.] That baby had eight-inch-thick wooden beams, solid oak construction, a real man's cross, you know? [Laughs] Man, I must have fallen three times trying to carry that thing! [Starts shouting again] Hey! Where's your crown of thorns? And try getting flogged next time before you leave the house!"

+posted by Lawrence @ 10/31/2003 03:31:00 PM