The seventh most pathetic aspect of my life is the strange pride I take in my ability to quickly convert Celsius to Fahrenheit or Fahrenheit to Celsius in my head. (In related news, the eighth most pathetic aspect of my life is the strange pride I take in my ability to spell "Fahrenheit" without looking it up.) I base an enormous portion of my self-esteem on this, which causes problems occasionally. I'll be driving along the highway, maybe with a nice young lady I'm taking to dinner for the first time, and the conversation goes something like this:

SHE: ... so they sent the mammogram to the radiologist, who said Mom needed to have the lump biopsied. (We pass one of those time/temperature signs reading "22 C".) When we found out it was malignant, I just freaked out. I mean --
ME: Seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit.
SHE: What?
ME: Twenty-two degrees Centigrade is seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit. Well... seventy-one point six, actually.
SHE: What?
ME: You're right -- I shouldn't give an answer with three significant digits when the original datum was only measured to two significant digits. Seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit it is. Say, how about we just skip dinner and head over to my place?

If you're curious about how this technique has been working for me lately, or if you just need a cheap ego boost at my expense, you can consult the "Involuntary Celibacy Watch" in the sidebar of this page.

(You might be wondering what the first through sixth most pathetic aspects of my life are. I'll give you a hint: I've written about all of them in this blog so far. So figure it out yourself, asshole.)

+posted by Lawrence @ 9/03/2003 12:29:00 AM