I want to know when we're all going to grow up and start referring to colors by wavelengths. Think of the benefits! Let's say you're thinking about buying an Italian wool V-neck sweater ($69.50) from J. Crew, for example. Do you know what color "heather cadet" is? What about "vicuna"? "Wine" would be easy for most people, but knowing you, you would think it was pink, like White Zinfandel. Or maybe you're a young lady looking to get a good deal on a Signature nylon/Lycra hipster side-tie bikini ($28.00). Would you like that in "baltic," "sprig," or "tigerlily," ma'am?

Wouldn't life be better if you could be reading the J. Crew catalog and be able to say, "Look at this hooded donegal sweater ($88.00)! And it comes in 497 nanometers -- my favorite color!"

And your friend could say, "497 nanometers makes you look so slutty. You'd look way better in the 522 nanometers, maybe even the 589."

And then you could point out that even if you look like a slut in 497 nm, at least you're not actually a slut, like a certain other person in the room who drank too much at a party last weekend and smeared her 681 nm lipstick all over some guy's scrotum she'd never even met before. And then maybe your friend would strike you across the face, turning your eye various shades of color from 404 - 511 nm.

See? Life is getting better already!

+posted by Lawrence @ 9/18/2003 10:48:00 PM