Beer commercials terrify me.

Sweaty dance clubs, poolside parties, ultra-hip lounges, raucous punk-pop concerts staged on mountainsides, multicultural rooftop get-togethers reeking of cool. Sexy smiles and easy laughter and confident gestures and witty repartee among friends. And everywhere the beautiful people: young square-jawed men with sinewy arms, yes, but mostly the girls. Tanned girls in bikinis on the beach, sassy girls at the bar displaying a tattoo in the small of the back, gorgeous blond twins behaving unnaturally, slender girls in tank tops screaming whooooo! at a party.

These commercials are supposed to make me want to buy beer. They don't. They make me want to shut off all the lights and huddle in the corner, rocking and weeping.

+posted by Lawrence @ 9/25/2003 11:00:00 PM