After watching football most of the day yesterday, I spent today wishing that working at my job could be like playing on a big-time sports team. Wouldn't that be great? Forget slumping into your chair thirty minutes late on Monday morning, groggy and depressed at the prospect of wasting forty hours that week slogging through that meaningless drudgery you call your career. Now:

Imagine dressing in a spacious locker room, changing out of dull business-casual khakis into a snappy uniform with a slick logo on the front and your name emblazoned on the back.

Imagine the office going dark and quiet, and, out of the hush, cool techno music beginning to play, the kind the Bulls used to play when Michael Jordan came on the floor.

Imagine running through a tunnel onto the office floor and exchanging high-fives with your coworkers as a gravelly-voiced announcer introduces you: Starting... at Accounts Receivable... number 23... Killllllgorrrre Trrrrout!

Imagine a Jumbotron replaying each of your crucial phone calls and faxes in slow-motion close-up from three different angles, as well as displaying your current stats (Average Reports Per Hour, Work Avoided Average, Ass-Kissing Efficiency).

Imagine turning on ESPN's OfficeCenter to see yourself featured among that day's office highlights, plus expert analysts dissecting every move you made, especially including that PowerPoint presentation you screwed up.

Have a good Tuesday!

+posted by Lawrence @ 9/22/2003 10:13:00 PM