According to the fifteenth verse of the fifteenth chapter of the book of Judges, Samson slew a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. I have often wondered how this went down. How, exactly, do you kill a man with a jawbone? Do you throw it, or maybe just whack guys across the head with it? Wouldn't the jawbone break? It seems as though it would be harder to kill someone with a jawbone than it would be with your bare hands.

I also wonder what all these guys were doing while Samson was on his holy rampage. You'll probably think I'm a pussy, but if I'm in a group of a thousand Philistines, and this one pissed-off Israelite starts killing dudes with a jawbone, I'm going to take off once the body count reaches fifty or so. Maybe forty. What was that 834th guy thinking? "Yeah, he's taken out 833 of my comrades armed with nothing more than a chunk of bone. But I'm pretty sure I can take him."

I also love the part of the Bible that says that Jesus had brothers and sisters. Think about that. How would you like it if Jesus was your brother? Mary would be nagging you constantly: "Why can't you be more like Jesus? Jesus cleans his room. Jesus does his homework. Jesus feeds the five thousand and rises on the third day."

+posted by Lawrence @ 9/12/2003 07:22:00 AM